![Y-A-L-E love all the way in Japan =]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzjNf7UE2Ebw2WbcWPIC7JDxDXefq142VBuIRDGbDAQP1_7PvCwr6JTLftGpPOJCATOpvx4xSDYwukkBiW3Pl6jB7IiQLZW5c7GMlpK_P-VKcmkvtX5hs-CNhqh2z7egFdSX2VtZ7FKS4w/s1600-r/Y-A-L-EResized.jpg)
今日 は, I went on an adventure.
I don’t normally do things on my own. I blame my mom, since she never let me go anywhere by myself. YEAH, overprotectiveness. But then even when I could go places by myself, I never had to. I’d cycle through people I could call to go with me—I figured I could kill two birds with one stone, have someone accompany me on my errands AND spend time with the person. Score!
Today I had to go to Austin Street (71st and Continental, one express train stop away, or roughly 10-15 minutes) to pick up Sura Sura, my Japanese textbook for the summer(!). I also realized yesterday that there’s a Starbucks (!!!!) right by me, and that it was like 2 blocks away from 82nd Street and 37th Avenue, which has been officially renamed Calle Colombia Way, something which brings me endless joy =D Soooo of course I decided that I would go take a picture of the sign on 82nd, which hopefully will go here:
So with all those errands in mind, I set out. It’s so funny, I had to keep telling myself to walk slowly, that I had nowhere to be quickly, because I would subconsciously fall into the frantic NY pace of oh-shit-I’m-gonna-miss-the-train-slash-bus. It’s pretty warm, no need for gloves today (ahem). I strolled (when I remembered to slow down), I smiled at people, I wandered into random stores, I looked around an earring store to my heart’s content (everything for $2.99???? Heaven….), and I did not say a single word for about an hour. SHOCKING, I know! It’s always such a strange feeling to only be talking in my head, because I’m so used to talking ALL the time, out loud, with everyone. The awesome thing about it is that it lets me people-watch. I love people-watching, I’m such a sketchball haha. Latina Más Sketch, anyone? =P
No, but seriously. Like just in this Starbucks alone, there are people just chilling with iced fraps and talking, an old man in a humongous red armchair reading the paper, a little old lady on the antique sofa reading what I’m sure is a thriller novel, two women next to me discussing work and/or people they do or don’t know, and students studying for SOMETHING (finals?? God forbid…). I love making stories up about people. The girl to my left goes to Columbia (no, she does, I looked over at her papers lol), has to give a presentation on effective methods of teaching hygiene to elementary schoolers, is stressed because there’s a lot of material and she needs internet but Starbucks doesn’t give it away (grr), but she knows that because she’s a regular here, she’s all comfy and her possessions are thrown everywhere, and is meeting a study buddy in an hour so needs to learn this shit quickly. And her name is Angela.
THIS is what happens when I don’t talk for an extended period of time. My brain just goes into hyperdrive.
Now to the point of me writing (besides the fact that I can’t do anything else, really, because Starbucks doesn’t have FREE wi-fi!). It’s ok, Starbucks, I still love you. You and your $2.11 Iced Grande Coffees with Milk and a free shot of Hazelnut syrup.
Being on my own is kinda nice. I don’t really experience it that much, but it’s refreshing, probably BECAUSE I don’t have to deal with it that often. Which has gotten me thinking about Tokyo a lot recently, even more so now that I actually have my textbook. I’m not really spending any time on my own in Tokyo. The prospect of being alone is SCARY AS HELL, but at the same time I wonder if I’ll miss out on something by not experiencing that. Even my flight: I’m going and coming back with Ming (don’t get me wrong, I’m excited!! Haha I’m looking forward to 14 hours of annoying the person between me and Ming lol). Maybe I’m not explaining it well. In Tokyo itself, I’m surrounded by friends and others who are potential friends. We’re even planning on getting a gym membership together, haha.
I guess I think of how spoiled I am and how one day it’s gonna come back and bite me in the butt. I need to get comfortable with being by myself, with my thoughts, and without using another person as a lens to see myself through. I feel like I exist a little less vibrantly when I’m not surrounded by people. More like Carmen than I thought.
I know Tokyo will be big in my life. But I know I need some time to see Tokyo through my eyes, not through mine through Rene’s, or Kisho’s, or Nick’s. I haven’t quite figured out how to do that yet, but I know that I won’t become a hermit. I might just wander off sometimes randomly, put some sunglasses on in hopes of blending in, and get lost in Tokyo on my own. That’s sounds incredibly…wonderful =]
And that also means someone will get their wish =P
Hehe Allie, you're cute :)
ResponderExcluirI spent the whole day in NY alone too! We should have found each other!
I get where you're coming from with the whole feeling like you exist less vibrantly when you're alone thing. Except, I've spent a looot of time alone. Some time alone is good, but I've found that I tend to self-destruct when I'm away from people too long...
I want to see youuu before you go to Tokyo!
RB love <3
Two things:
ResponderExcluir1. "Latina Más Sketch," totally been copyrighted by me =P
2. It's funny because the whole being-alone-in-a-foreign-country (or being alone in general) thing has been on my mind a lot these past few days. Being with others can definitely make things seem more exciting/fun/vibrant, but I think it can also become a sort of security blanket...case in point--talking on the phone (or pretending to, haha) while walking along the street because we can't deal with being alone with nothing to do (I say this because I do it, and I know you do too, lol). It's definitely one of those pushing-you-out-of-your-comfort-zone things, I know I"m going to have to do it too. I'm glad you got to adventure solo today, and I think it's going to be super exciting (and challenging and different, too, but in a good way) for you to do the same in Tokyo.
So we're kind of on the same wavelength...go figure. =)
Oh, and remember when you're wandering alone...STS. =P
tqm!!
"I'm so used to talking out loud, ALL the time, with everyone." That is pretty much the most succinct description of you I've ever heard.
ResponderExcluirAnd man, you are SUCH an extrovert :P It's funny, and you'll hear me talk about this, but I am EXACTLY the opposite of you, I don't exist as me unless I'm alone, or in very specific circumstances. So I really like being in big cities (I wrote about this very briefly on my blog), and thus there are going to be deliberate times when I say "no, guys, actually, I'm just gonna go walk around alone for a while." Don't be offended when that happens, it's just how I need to operate in order to recharge. Sounds strange, I guess, but that's introversion for ya.
But, I really really feel you on your final paragraph. I've been thinking (not worrying, because I'm not worried, but...you know, digesting) about how to experience this summer outside of Sun Academy, outside of you or Hee-Sun or Diana or Kisho or Rene or anybody else. Ditching the group sometimes, as above, is going to help a bit, as will my traveling alone before SANC, but...I dunno. We'll play it by ear.
whooaaaa we're not even in Tokyo yet and you guys are talking about ditching the group :(
ResponderExcluirhaha no I totally get it. i think it'll be important for all of us to find some regular activity that we can do individually. I might play some basketball with the locals or visit my grandparents and family friends. maybe you could do karate. It's inevitable that we're going to affect each others' experiences so it's probably a good idea to make time for solo adventuring.
yuppp my one wish for this summer is for you to get lost, but remember...i have to be watching so i can be entertained.
btdubs...you were up very very late!
ResponderExcluirand yes i know. I am very civil. I'm practicing for Japan.